What Captures the Heart: May 2009

Well this year, my family made me cry. I always feel appreciated by my kids and husband to some degree. that being said, it is always good when Mother's Day rolls around and my family takes time to specifically think about me and thank me.

Sometimes it is a handwritten card,

Other times an orginal painting,

Occasionally a piece of jewlery.

Each year, I feel like the luckiest mom in the world. My kids are so beautiful and smart and well behaved. They all three have trusted in Christ, the most important decision they will ever make. I am truly blessed.

But on this same day that I feel so loved and blessed, a empty spot in my heart.... becomes apparent. You see, Scott and I served as foster parents prior to adopting our son. We were parents to seven little boys before Jayden became ours. And on mother's day.... I think of how this mother... foster mother... misses those precious boys. I remember all of the firsts that they expereinced with us, the hurt and the pain that the tiniest little guys had to deal with so early in their lives. I remember the way their little faces were so unsure of what was happening as they were brought into our home. I remember in detail, each story of how they came to be my son. I feel the loss all over again. I think of how old they would be today.... how they might look... how they are doing in school... and I close my eyes and feel.... how it felt to hold them and know God placed them in my arms for that time. I know that God appointed the days that they were my boys... he had a purpose and a plan. I feel blessed all over again... to have loved them... for how ever many days, months that God gave us. And then I resolve.... they are my children. They do not all live with me, or remember me.... but they will be my boys forever.

I have also been blessed my two other children, althought they are much older. Jennifer and Nick came into our lives during our fist year of marriage. They became our family. Their mother welcomed us into her world and honored us with her trust. We have lived together and apart. These grown kids still call Scott dad, and although they had a great mom already.... I have been blessed to be a "second mom" for these exceptional kids. Jennifer has married a wonderful man, Erik, and adopted two babies through foster care. I don't know if she realizes exactly how proud i am of her. Nick is such a handsome and smart man, still finding his way. I don't get to see him or talk to him much, but I love him always.

So the point of all of this....

My family blessed me with this fantastic sterling silver bracelet for Mother's Day! All of the names of my children are hand stamped by the most amazing company. Check out their merchandise. My sister is fantastic! Chocolate Silver Designs I absolutely love it! So as the day comes to a close... I am feeling blessed!